i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize