Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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