I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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