he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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