well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize