how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
