YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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