By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
