ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
