OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
