this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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