That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
