So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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