I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
