better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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