Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize