I CAN MOONWALK!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
