So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
