I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
