There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
