just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's rum buckets o'clock
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
