jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize