im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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