Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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