it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am one with the molecules
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
