You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
