so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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