if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
