i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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