Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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