she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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