Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
