I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
