i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize