i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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