im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
how does that bad decision feel?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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