Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
