Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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