just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
