Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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