google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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