Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
