Your face is a jimmy john
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
