i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I touched a dick in church today
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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