you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
