I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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