About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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