will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize