I wannas sexs uuuuu
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
