Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
A+ Viking dick
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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