Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
