You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
True strength comes from lack of pants
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
