Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
