Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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