I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
