Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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