Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
