Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
