Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
