This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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