Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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