considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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