How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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