Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
