just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
