Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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