told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
