UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i dont even know how to be here
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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