butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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