Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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